How The Grinch Stole Christmas (Funeral Edition)

December 17, 2014

Article by: Krystal Penrose, FuneralOne

Every funeral director in Funeralville liked celebrating life a lot…
But the Funeral Grinch, who had been in Funeralville for too long, did NOT!
The Funeral Grinch hated planning celebrations! The whole funeral service!

Now, please don’t ask why. No one asks because they’re too nervous.

It could be his commissions weren’t adding up just right.
It could be, perhaps, that his creativity was nowhere in sight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
may have been that his traditional views made him hit a wall.
For this funeral director stood there during every service hating the laughter.
He thought funerals should have tears, not a happily ever after!

Staring down from his office with a sour, salesman frown,
at his warmhearted co-workers helping families in his town.
He knew every funeral director in Funeralville was busy,
planning every aspect of a loved one’s celebrations until they were dizzy

“They’re even putting together tribute videos!” he snarled with a sneer,
“But tomorrow is the funeral! It’s practically here!”
Then he growled, with his Funeral Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
“I MUST find some way to sell an expensive casket or something!”

“Why, for fifty-three years families have loved our tradition?
“Maybe they’ve changed” his co-worker said, and the Funeral Grinch had a suspicion.
How could he figure out why these “new families” were on the rise?
Then he got an idea. What if I, the Funeral Grinch, attended a funeral in disguise?

So the Funeral Grinch took off his intimidating black suit.
He put on comfortable clothes and picked up a basket of fruit.
He walked up to the funeral home, and opened the door…
The Funeral Grinch had no idea what would be in store.

When the service began, he heard a noise he simply must hear,
so he paused and put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the casket,
it started in low, then echoed throughout the flower baskets.
But the sound wasn’t sad! Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn’t be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at the funeral! The Funeral Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!

Every friend and family at the funeral didn’t focus on the sadness of death,
instead they celebrated who the loved one was before their last breath.
There was no fancy casket, no clergy and not even a priest
In fact it was the family and friends who gave the eulogy for the deceased.

So the Funeral Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?”
“The funeral came without embalming! It came without tradition!”
“In fact the family only really needed advice and guidance from their mortician!

Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before!
“Maybe funerals …perhaps…mean a little bit more!”
And what happened then? Well…in Funeralville they say,
that the Funeral Grinch’s small heart grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his heart didn’t feel quite so tight,
he whizzed back to the funeral home through the bright morning light.
He brought back with him some new funeral personalization tips,

and he decided that the family should provide their ideas and scripts.
His salesman lingo would no longer serve him any use.
Instead, he thought, he could be than just a funeral director, he could be a muse
For funerals, he thought, should focus on happiness of moms, dads, husbands and a wife
Funerals, he concluded, were about celebrating life.


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