Do you remember your first deathcare convention? Tom Patten sure does. As a young man who had heard only cautionary tales about these gatherings from his more experienced colleagues, Patten approached his first Hilton Funeral Supply convention booth with a little trepidation … and some edgy swag.
Patten very quickly learned, however, when one of his company’s most respected customers stopped at his booth, that funeral directors actually do possess a sense of humor.
“He was a very tough guy; I really liked him,” Patten says. “He came over, picked up the mug, and roared. Then he took that mug all around the convention floor, saying, ‘Go over and see Patten! Get this mug!’ And it became the hit of the show.”
With that, Tom Patten and Hilton Funeral Supply became a must-visit booth at deathcare conventions, with directors actually looking forward to seeing what “twisted, contorted, humorous funeral jokes” Patten would share on a mug, a lunch cooler bag, or even a casket-shaped squeezy stress ball.
“I’ve been in the business for 32 years at Hilton,” Patten says, “And I used to go to these conventions thinking, ‘How can I go in and just have fun?’ I wanted to make a mark. We’re not a tiny company, but we were not on the national floor. But it’s funny how that got a groundswell by just handing out that mug. And then conversations began, and relationships followed.”
Patten’s actual grandfather probably wasn’t that terrifying at the wheel. As a matter of fact, he managed to run a thriving monument business, Patten Monument Company, for decades and successfully raise nine children. Patten’s father followed his dad into the funeral field, opening a cremation urn company in the 1980s, and brought his son, Tom, into the fold in 1989.
“I grew up around tombstones and funeral service, so I decided to try to help him,” says Patten, recalling how he’d travel through Michigan and Indiana knocking on the doors of funeral homes to sell the urns. It was during one of these visits that he learned of an opportunity that would eventually change his life.
“One of my funeral director friends introduced me to the owner of a local funeral supply company,” Patten recalls.
That funeral supply business was owned by Bruce Elder, an icon in the industry and an incredible, gracious man who quickly became Patten’s mentor and dear friend. Elder took Patten under his wing, introducing him to clients and helping to establish the company we now know as Hilton Funeral Supply.
Like his father and grandfather before him, Tom Patten leads a team that includes several members of his immediate family, in addition to a close-knit cohort of dedicated sales and support professionals. Patten’s brother Tim Patten has been an integral part of the firm from early on, and Patten’s son Conner — a recent college graduate and the fourth generation to work in the deathcare field — joined the Hilton Funeral Supply family on a full-time basis two years ago after spending summers pitching in part-time. All in all, the Patten family has been serving the needs of deathcare professionals and families for more than 107 years.
Although Hilton Funeral Supply may not have been well-known on the national level during those early years on the deathcare convention circuit, that’s certainly no longer the case — and it’s not all due to Patten’s sharp-witted mugs.
Tom Patten continued to cultivate the valued relationships established in the early years even as he forged new ones, eventually expanding the company’s footprint beyond its initial two states with the help of licensed funeral director Jason Weir, who joined the company in 2011 as vice president. While Tim Patten, Weir, and now, young Conner Patten still love face-to-face visits with Hilton’s customers, the company also offers the convenience of interacting through its robust website and signature catalogs.
Even as its digital presence grows, Hilton Funeral Supply maintains its trusted, authentic, and reassuring family atmosphere. Every member of the team, from the newest employee to business manager Suzanne Preuss, who has been with the company from the beginning, contributes to that culture.
“Family-owned is a family connection in and throughout,” Patten says. “I love my people. I have great staff. I feel like people work with me. I don’t feel like they ever work for me. I’ve always felt that way. That’s what family-owned means to me.”
Tom Patten is looking forward to seeing what this fourth generation of family holds for the future of Hilton Funeral Supply.
“I hope I live long enough that I won’t recognize Hilton Funeral Supply,” he says. “Someday someone will come in here and kick me out of my office and say, ‘Hey, just go home, would you? You have to be willing to move over, make room, let it breathe. But I’m actually excited to see where it goes.”
