DISCLAIMER: None of the F’s in FFFW stand for “facts.” Enjoy the jokes and satire.
Welcome to Friday! We once again have arrived at the peak of the week. It feels like the world might be a little bit of different place comes next Friday. This time next week, only four teams will be left in the NFL playoffs, the next president will take office, and TikTok might be over as we know it.
Wild how much can change in a week.
But what won’t change is your weekly dose of GIFs, satire, and good news.
Let’s kick it off!
Days until the Chiefs win the Big Game: 23
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Funeral Home Intern Forced to Live in Real World Now that TikTok is Banned
In a shocking turn of events, local funeral home intern Bryce “@MortuaryVibes” Miller has been forced to confront reality after the sudden ban of TikTok. Bryce, who gained modest fame for his embalming dance challenges and “day in the life” funeral home tours, was devastated to find his 2.3 million followers reduced to a single framed certificate of appreciation from his manager.
“I don’t know how to interact with people without captions and trending sounds,” Bryce confessed while aimlessly staring at a casket display. “How do I even explain to someone what I do here without a funny voiceover?”
Bryce’s coworkers have also noted his confusion in real-world settings. “He keeps trying to swipe left on the copier and says, ‘For you page,’ every time the boss walks in,” said funeral director Janice, shaking her head.
Despite his social media void, Bryce has been reassigned to the thrilling task of actually assisting grieving families. “It’s weird,” he admitted. “They want me to listen without lip-syncing. What do I do with my hands?”
Rumor has it Bryce is now lobbying for a new funeral app called “MournTok” to fill the void. Until then, he’ll be adjusting to life as a regular funeral professional.
Trivia
“Wadi al-Salaam (Valley of Peace)” in Najaf, Iraq, is the world’s largest cemetery. How many graves are estimated to be a part of it?
Select the correct answer, and you’ll get a GIF of an otter. Select the wrong one, and you’ll get a GIF of someone hurting themselves.
Answer Choices:
A) 1 million
B) 3 million
C) 5 million
You Otter Be Proud
Here’s some good news going on in the profession.
- Wilson Funeral Home director honored for organ donor support
- Old Lick Cemetery in Roanoke cleaned, repaired with help of national expert
- Fifth-generation funeral director Jeff Monreal helps families grieve, celebrate loved ones
