DISCLAIMER: None of the F’s in FFFW stand for “facts.” Enjoy the satire.
Labor Day has passed, so this is the first official fall issue of the FFFW in 2023!
So, here are the best things about the fall- ranked.
1) hoodies
2) apple flavored everything (apple is WAY better than pumpkin)
3) less busy schedules
4) football
5) Saying “let’s circle back on that next year.”
That’s right- it’s the time of year where we start pretending the rest of the year doesn’t exist.
Homesteaders Makes it Rain?
What’s better than a 25 bps increase in growth on your preneed block? A 30 bps increase! Homesteaders is excited to announce one of the industry’s highest growth rate increases – an average of 30 bps on all new business, beginning March 15. Learn more.
Vegas Survival Guide
Many of y’all will be heading to Nevada for NFDA 2023. As an officially self-proclaimed expert on the city, I thought I was the best suited to give you some advice on a good trip. So here we go- three things you need to know to survive Vegas.
1) This is your BEST chance to double your profits for the year. With so many casinos around, you have an ample amount of opportunities to bet your earnings for the year and win big. Remember, if people didn’t win money ALL THE TIME while gambling, the casinos wouldn’t be full. If people lost money all the time- they just wouldn’t go.
2) You should get that tattoo. Vegas is known for providing tattoos to people who are NEVER regerted. Whatever you think is really cool while you’re in a flashy city surrounded by sin and lawlessness is EXACTLY what you should mark your body with. Get a tiger or something.
3) Collect EVERY pen and sticky pad you can from the NFDA show floor. Remember, you’re proclaiming your dominance over the vendors when you take their fancy branded pens and leave without scheduling a demo of their product/service. And you’ll use that pen all the time. It definitely won’t be thrown away or left in your hotel room. So go and collect them all.
There you go! Also, if you’re looking for something interesting- check out DISRUPT Media’s booth (#1669) might make your head spin a little.
GIF of the Week
Wrong type of football. But oh well.
You Otter Be Proud
- ‘Like a warm hug’: Wichita funeral home’s therapy dog comforts in a way no human can
- Drone helps ‘adventurous’ 93-year-old ‘go out in style’
- Bagdad Cemetery restoration tour helps preserve local history
