10 Gifts You’d Love to Find Under Your Tree This Year

Funeral Industry News Lighter Side December 15, 2020

10 Gifts You’d Love to Find Under Your Tree This Year

No matter how you choose to describe 2020 — challenging, unprecedented, s&*^show — it’s been hard for everyone. We’re all hoping the holiday season will provide a well-deserved respite from the chaos COVID has caused, especially among the deathcare community. There’s no doubt that every one of you deserves something special in your stocking this year, like these great gifts we’ve gathered for your consideration:

#MorticianLife Adult Coloring Book

At just $7.99 on Amazon, this little gem offers a plethora of opportunities to engage your team and soothe your psyche. Why not host a coloring contest, with the winner getting a night off of on-call duty? Or perhaps you could frame the finished 25 pages for whimsical break room display.

Deathcare-Themed Canvas Shoes

These TOMS look-alikes are actually pretty cute, although they probably wouldn’t make the dress code cut in most deathcare environments. Snag your pair at Etsy for just $67 (or four equal installments of $16.85).

Funeral Director’s Brain Mug

Forget what you learned in anatomy or psychology class — this $17.99 Amazon find will show you exactly what’s going on in the brain of every mortician. Fill this mug with our next gift idea and we’ll bet you could add many more choice words to this selection.

Death Wish Coffee

Billed as the “world’s strongest coffee,” Saratoga Springs, New York-based Death Wish Coffee creates a bold, highly-caffeinated blend that may not actually wake the dead, but will at least help you plow through an 18-hour day of caring for them.

Corpses Attempt Hilarity Card Game

What better way to occupy yourself on a slow day (of which we hope you’ll have at least a few in 2021) than to play our friend Poul Lemasters’ deathcare take on Cards Against Humanity? You can even submit your card suggestions to Poul for future versions! And on a serious note, all profits from your purchase of Corpses Attempt Hilarity (the original or the Oversized Casket Edition) go toward Poul’s charity, the Lemasters Coat Drive. It’s truly a win-win.

Death is My Business Fleece Throw

Cover yourself in deathcare with this lovely “Death is My Business” throw from Zazzle. If you like this pattern, you can complete your ensemble with a complementary pillowcase, lampshade, cutting board, and table runner. You might also like these designs (also available in headbands, luggage, and gift wrap): “Support Your Local Mortician: Die,” “Funeral Director Extraordinaire,” or “Keep Calm and Love Your Mortician.”

Yellow Cartoon Version of You At Work

Anyone who has ever wished to be depicted as a character in an episode of The Simpsons will love this rendering of them doing what they love — embalming! Just send in your photo and this Etsy artist will insert a yellow cartoon version of you in the embalming room, in front of a casket, or in any variety of fun settings.

Embalmer Funny T-Shirt

Yes, embalmers (of all genders) are great at multitasking. So why not sport that fearsome feature on a t-shirt? Also available on a t-shirt for around $17 on Amazon are these funny favorites: “You’re looking good — open casket good,” “Friends help you move — real friends help you move bodies,” and last, but not least, “For stiffness that lasts longer than four hours consult your mortician.”

Ultra Death Hot Sauce

Just need to feel alive after being surrounded by death for days? With one million Scoville heat units, this sauce from Blair’s will definitely do the trick.

Airbnb Gift Card

We saved the best for last, because in our opinion, no one deserves a vacation more than our deathcare friends. We hope your own loved ones will surprise you with an Airbnb, airline, hotel, or any other kind of gift card that promises a few days of escape from the real world in 2021. If they don’t, here’s the link to Airbnb so you can get your own!