Looking For Love in All The Wrong Places [At a Funeral]

Article by: Lauren Polanski, LittleMissFuneral

The first time I was hit on in a funeral home I was eighteen. I went to a wake to support a friend who had lost a family member. The boy who hit on me was probably around my age. I smiled and politely excused myself away from him.

If nothing else, it made for a good story. But I find that the more time I spend in the funeral home the more I actually find myself in similar situations. Now, I’m not saying that I’m some crazy good looking funeral god, but I have found that I have had male attention directed towards me at a few inappropriate times. For instance, a couple of months ago I was asked to go out for drinks with a young man after the wake for his mother. Maybe I misinterpreted the situation, however I know for a fact that he did not ask the other male funeral director to join in. I know because I asked him. About a year ago I had a man who was probably around fifty basically follow me like a little puppy around the funeral home. At first I just thought he was lonely and wanted to talk. Then he told me about his recent divorce and followed me outside during my dinner break and inquired as to where I was going. He was lonely alright, but listen fella, this is NOT funeral directors gone wild.

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, I mean even Wedding Crashers poked fun at people taking advantage of mourners. However, I guess I would have never thought it would be the other way round. (For those of you who didn’t see the movie, here is a short clip -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWkqBRuwjeY). I have never, ever thought about taking anyone up on an offer that they have suggested. I mean, I even get a little freaked out when a nice little old lady invites me to the funeral breakfast for her husband that I just buried. Needless to say, I like to keep business, well, business. The fact that I’m engaged to be married doesn’t even hold any weight in my opinion. Even if I were single, I’d still say no to any advances. I could not possibly, in good conscience go out with someone who I met at a funeral. It just is not me. I don’t think it’s professional.

There is a time and a place for everything. I don’t know why some people think it’s okay to scope out dates at a funeral home. But I have a confession. I’m not Cupid. I don’t know Cupid, either. Maybe Cupid has taken a look at these star crossed lovers and for whatever reason destiny has brought them together at the funeral home. Mr. Man is mourning the loss of his father when all of a sudden he sees her – Miss. Lady. They lock eyes. For that moment they are the only two in the room. Mr. Man feels all of his grief being lifted off of his shoulders as he finds himself walking towards Miss. Lady. He asks her out for coffee, she says yes. They fall in love and blah, blah, blah- I-I’m sorry I had to stop writing there, I was making myself sick.

Please, just don’t use the funeral home as your single-ready-to-mingle bar. If you hit on someone in a funeral home you will make them uncomfortable. People aren’t looking for a hot date, they’re looking to remember and respect a loved one. Just please, please don’t do it. And if you find that you’ve fallen hopelessly in love with someone who you happened to meet at a funeral home do yourself a favor. Find out their name. Friend them on Facebook. Send them a message saying that you’re sorry you met each other under terrible circumstances, however you’d love to go for coffee sometime. It’s a little less weird this way. And when you’re married and say you met in a funeral home people won’t give you TOTAL crazy looks when you explain to them that you waited until Pa was buried and in the ground before getting back into the swing of things.

Or do whatever you want, because you will anyways. This is after all, just a little girl rambling away on her personal blog.  But when I ask you if there is anything I can do for you during a wake and you ask me if I’d like you to put a ring on my finger do not be insulted when I say no and proceed to stay as far away from you as possible for the rest of the night. And no I did not make that up. A man really proposed to me at a wake. Yesterday.