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The Funeral Profession Enters the Chick-Fil-A Debate [Caleb Wilde]

Article contributed by: Caleb Wilde, CalebWilde.com

The funeral business is usually about 50 or so years behind the times … mostly because our clientele are …  well … our clientele are old.

The funeral industry discovered the internet like a year ago and we’re still struggling to find innovative ways to apply it to our customer base.

While embroidery has been around for like ever, we just started embroidering caskets about five years.  So, we are now pleased to offer caskets such as this:

In case you couldn’t tell, those beautifully designed flowers are in fact roses.  We’re still working on a better depiction of the rose, but you get the idea ….

Over the past week, nothing has divided America like this soundbite from Chick-Fil-A President Dan Cathy:

“We are very much supportive of the family—the biblical definition of the family unit,” Cathy told the Baptist Press. “We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that.”

It seems everybody has weighed in on Cathy’s words.  Mike Huckabee and Billy Graham organized a Chick-Fil-A “Appreciation Day” where numerous conservatives rallied in support of the chicken sandwich by purchasing Chick-Fil-A fast food.  While the LGBTQ community counterprotested with a “Kiss In”.

Twitter, Facebook has been abuzz with people taking sides.  Everybody has had something to say … everybody except the funeral industry.

Times are changing.  Instead of us being 50 years behind, today, I’m proud to say that we’re only about a week behind with the release of the “Cathy Casket”.  Pick your position in support of the traditional family by purchasing a beautiful metal casket embroidered with the emblem of your conservative values.  Who says you can’t take your favorite family values, fast food restaurant logo with you?

This casket comes in sizes “Medium”, “Large” and — for those who support conservative values on a daily basis — “Super Size”.

If you are member of the LGBTQ community, the funeral industry is proud to introduce to you the “NOH8 Casket”.  While the beautiful metal casket below is displayed in white, you can rest in peace knowing that this lovely piece of artwork comes in every color of the rainbow.  You’ve fought hard for your identity, so why shouldn’t you bring that identity to your grave in the “NOH8″?  The funeral industry is here to serve everyone, so stand against the bullies like Dan Cathy and vote with your casket.  Remember: A traditional funeral doesn’t equal traditional values.

And in other news, we landed on Mars this morning.  Wait with bated breath as the funeral industry develops a response to that epic accomplishment through a wonderful new Mars themed urn.  Coming to a local funeral home near you.

Caleb Wilde

I'm a sixth generation funeral director. I have a grad degree in Missional Theology. And I like to read and write. Connect with my writing and book plans by "liking" me on facebook. And keep tabs with my blog via subscription or twitter.

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  • TheSouthernFD

    I’m not entirely sure that I agree with some of the exaggerated time frames mentioned in the article, whereas my funeral home (in a small town) has had it’s own website for almost 10 years now, and as far as embroidered caskets, well, we’ve offered them for a good 20 years. Overall I absolutely loved this article, and had to share.

  • funeral guy

    because one disagrees or agrees with a point of view does not mean they “Hate” the opposing view. Disagreeing does not mean Hating the other side. Differences is what makes our country great. I may not agree with the Catholic church but I am proud to serve Catholic Families and we keep our personal beliefs to ourselves. I am Glad that the Cathy family is making a stand, holding to their values and making no excuse for it. This is their right as protected by the First Amendment. I am sure over the years many LBGT community have purchased food from Chick-Fil-A knowing or maybe not knowing thier stance on this issue or any other issue. Again, this is your choice as an American to choose who gets or does not get your business. For many years– not sure if it is still true– Burger King imported their beef– many beef producers in the US would not eat there because they did not support them. A choice by both sides. Our business is open and afirming– we make no judgements– our job is to create the best funeral experience we can for a family– NO MATTER WHAT. Peace & God’s Love to All

  • Jon OHara

    Legit. Nicely done.

  • Steve P.

    Some obvious exaggerations aside, we get the point. To add to your last comment about a Mars urn, we’ll have another one to add to our storeroom eventually, like to baseball and foottball team urns that will join the whiteart caskets in the basement with the jets on the side for the Air Force and the “Last Hole” golfing theme. They all make cute news and we’re foolish to buy a product that everyone will talk about, but no one will buy.

  • PatrickBennett

    Rotten way to get a point across. We in this industry especially in the smaller towns do not have the levity others have nor can we afford to. That said, shame on you for putting this in the limelight for us to have to live down.

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