9 Puns Funeral Directors Don’t Think Are Funny

October 22, 2017
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Originally Published on OGR’s Blog

Let’s say you’re reading this post, and you’re not a funeral director. Imagine you’re at a party.  You meet funeral director Joe, and when you hear what he does for a living, you think of a simply brilliant pun to tell him and the group around you about his profession and what he does on a day-to-day basis.

If we can offer you any advice, it’s to stop right there. Don’t open your mouth and share the pun, crinkling your eyes as you throw your head back in laughter. Don’t slap him on the back and say “that’s a good one!” Chances are he’s heard every single pun you could possibly come up with hundreds of times, and he doesn’t think they’re funny.  They weren’t funny the first time, and they definitely won’t be funny by the time you get to them.

Here’s our list of 9 not-so-funny puns. Use at your own risk.

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  1. “You work at a funeral home? It must be pretty dead.”
    Nope — just the people in the prep room are.
  2. “You put the fun in funeral, don’t you?”
    Yes, we’re a riot. People think “party” when they come by the funeral home.
  3. “At least you have job security since people are dying to see you.”
    Actually, fewer and fewer people see the value of having funerals and more and more just want to be cremated and “do something small at a later time.” The problem with this is that families don’t always gather together at a later time and the opportunity to come together and honor a loved one’s life gets missed. Or if they do gather, there isn’t anyone to coordinate the service and it doesn’t turn into a meaningful celebration.
    So yes, while people will always die, many people are choosing to bypass the process of acknowledging a loss among family, friends and, community. It’s our funeral home’s hope to show people in our community the value of holding a meaningful service/event/funeral/memorial/party/celebration of life soon after their loved one dies. It’s our calling to help those in our community through their time of grief and help them find meaningful ways to say goodbye.
  4. “You’re a funeral director? Is that how you urn your living?”
    No. Just no.
  5. “You’re a funeral director? That must be quite the undertaking.”
    I’ve never heard that one before.
  6. “You’re the last man to let someone down, huh?!”
    Unless I drop grandma when moving her into the casket.
  7. “You must make a killing.”
    Can you be anymore irreverent? Never mind. You probably can.
  8. “Party like a mortician and grab a cold one!”
    Sounds good. You buying?
  9. Competition must be stiff.
    Ha. That’s a good one.

Death makes people uncomfortable. We get it. So try this — the next time you chat with a funeral director (like Joe) instead of trying to be punny (or maybe right after it because, let’s be honest, you’ll probably still try since we’ve given you so much fodder), say something like this:

“Thanks for what you do.”

“Man, that must be hard.”

“You know, when my mom died, the funeral home we used helped us so much.”

Acknowledging his service will go a long way in making Joe your friend — or at least getting him to crack a smile the next time you try to be punny.

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