6 Magic Powers That All Funeral Professionals Possess
Article written and provided by: FuneralOne
Who among us can’t be dazzled by a little bit of magic?
Sometimes magic and mystique are the only logical explanations for what we experience in life, from how we scored the perfect parking spot right in front of the mall on Black Friday, to that pair of jeans that just seems to make 10 pounds disappear every time you slip them on.
Whether it’s magic worthy of a J.K. Rowling story, or simply a “you wouldn’t believe me if I told you” sort of moment, wizardry and magic-makers are everywhere around us, all the time… especially when you look to funeral professionals.
Now, we’re not suggesting you start wearing a top hat and carrying around a wand, but it’s time to give credit where it’s due.
Funeral professionals may not commute to work on broomsticks, but you’re wizards in your own right. Who but a magically gifted person like yourself is able to do everything you accomplish, day in and day out, serving the community, helping individuals in their time of greatest need, and rallying your own team to strive for better service each and every time you come to work?!
Maybe you’ve never thought about it like that before, but we’d like you to take a bow for all that you do — we can only describe your skills as magical powers.
1. The Gift of Healing
As a funeral professional, the majority of your day-to-day efforts have one uniting goal: to help people heal. You do this in a variety of ways, not the least of which is simply being there. Your presence in the community, your open door, your warm greeting on the phone when someone is making a phone call they wish they didn’t have to make — all of these simple gestures and moments are making more of a difference than you may realize.
But you do much more than just being there for families. You listen to family members as they strive to honor their loved one, consider their wishes and preferences and adapt your services to meet their needs, provide a shoulder to cry on and act as a pillar of support. The services you provide, whether they’re traditional burials or modern accents like video memorials or social obituaries, all aid and assist in the healing process that is so crucial after a loved one is lost.
2. The Zombie Power
Other professionals work in shifts — maybe it’s Monday through Friday from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., or maybe it’s the overnight shift that gives daytime hours off. As a funeral director, you never really clock out. You work when people need you, and you can never predict when that will be. You make house calls late at night, early in the morning, and at every hour in between. Do you even remember the last time you had eight hours of sleep that all took place in one night?
It’s an unknown concept for so many funeral professionals, and yet you continue to show up to work and arrive where and when you are needed. The only individuals who need less sleep than you to function must be zombies—and even they take breaks (from whatever it is that zombies do all day) whenever they please. You’re constantly helping others, even if you’re doing so on the power of a third cup of coffee and a 20-minute nap.
3. Superhuman Strength
It’s a bird! It’s a plane! Or just your friendly neighborhood funeral director, known to lift double his or her weight in a single attempt. All too often, it’s all on you to lift literal and figurative dead weight, and your average non-bodybuilding competition contestant could certainly not keep up. Between house calls, gurney transfers, and all the heavy lifting that is involved in every step of preparing for a funeral service, you’ve got muscles and agility that Superman himself would envy.
4. The Mary Poppins Bag of Magic Tricks
In a funeral service, as in everything else in life, things going “according to plan” is pretty much a pipe dream. But you’d never let it ruin the occasion or even throw much more than a hiccup into the process. You’re always prepared, quick on your feet, and equipped with just the right thing — whether it’s a great idea or a simple DIY fix — to keep every service successful.
You’re armed with an endless array of personalized services and solutions at the ready to help any family that comes to you craft the beautiful funeral their loved one deserves. Between video tributes, customized decor and accents, online memorial pages and more, you’re able to provide anything any family, service, or ceremony needs.
5. The Fairy Godmother’s Magic Wand
Bippity, boppity, boo: You take every request to heart, and it’s amazing what you can do to address a family’s preferences for their loved one’s final viewing. You’re able to meet makeup and wardrobe requests and capture the essence of their loved one, even in death, which anyone besides a funeral home director would need the help of a magic wand to do.
6. Ever-Ready Polyjuice Potion
Can you even count anymore how many times you’ve been woken up in the middle of the nightand promptly sent yourself to work? Or how many times you’ve had to duck out of a dinner a little bit early to tend to a family? You’ve probably even been standing in line for groceries when a call has come through. No matter where you are or what you’re doing, you’re able to switch gears when the need arises, transforming from “regular person” into a funeral professional at the drop of a hat — or really, at the ring of a cell phone. You must keep a stash of transformational Polyjuice Potion handy to help you constantly switch between the two.
Is there another magical power or ability you know funeral professionals to have that we didn’t include? Let us know below!
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