9 Of The Most Incredible Obituaries Ever

June 25, 2014
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Article provided by: FuneralOne

Obituaries are one of the most unique forms of literature ever written.

They’re one of the few writings that truly capture someone’s life… if written correctly.

Over the years, we’ve seen many people deciding that the traditional obituary is not for them. Instead, many people today want an obituary that’s memorable and not cookie cutter. One that makes you laugh, cry, or inspires you. We don’t know about you, but a good obituary can truly leave an impression on us. And that’s why we’ve come up with our nine favorite obituaries ever written. But beware: laughter, tears, and inspiration are ahead.

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1. Mary A. “Pink” Mullaney

You know when an obituary starts off saying “If you’re about to throw away an old pair of pantyhose, stop” that it’s going to be a great one. This hilarious yet touching obituary continues by explaining all of the lessons we can learn from Mary: “We were blessed to learn many valuable lessons from Pink during her 85 years, among them: Never throw away old pantyhose. Use the old ones to tie gutters, child-proof cabinets, tie toilet flappers, or hang Christmas ornaments. Also: If a possum takes up residence in your shed, grab a barbecue brush to coax him out. If he doesn’t leave, brush him for twenty minutes and let him stay.”

Read the full obituary here.

2. Jane Catherine Lotter

This self-written obituary was published by the author of the widely known “The Bette Davis Club”, Jane Catherine, when she realized her time on Earth was coming to an end. She begins her obituary by saying “One of the few advantages of dying from Grade 3, Stage IIIC endometrial cancer, recurrent and metastasized to the liver and abdomen, is that you have time to write your own obituary. (The other advantages are no longer bothering with sunscreen and no longer worrying about your cholesterol.).” We love this obituary because instead of counting career achievements, Jane uses the words of her obituary to thank the people closest to her for teaching her, loving her and being in her life. This obituary is both beautiful and transcendental, and that’s why we love it.

Read the full obituary here.

3. Walter George Bruhl, Jr.

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This gem of an obituary came our way through Facebook. Posted by his grandson, he explains “Typical of my PopPop: he cut out the middleman and wrote his own damn obituary. He’s the only man I’ve ever known to be able to add his own humor like this. So glad I got to read one more thing from my favorite writer.” Not only is this obituary self-written and hilarious, but it’s also inspiring. At the end of the obituary, Walter requests that “Instead of flowers, Walt would hope that you will do an unexpected and unsolicited act of kindness for some poor unfortunate soul in his name”.

Read the full obituary here.

4. Harry Stamps

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Out of all the obituaries listed here, Harry Stamps’ obituary takes the cake. Written by his daughter, Amanda Lewis, this obituary is probably the funniest piece of literature we’ve ever read. In her father’s obituary, Amanda describes her father as a ladies man who didn’t take fashion cues from anyone. She goes on to tell us that he had a life-long love affair with deviled eggs, hated Martha Stewart and cats, and belonged to a Bacon of The Month Club. Harry’s last wish? “Finally, the family asks that in honor of Harry that you write your Congressman and ask for the repeal of Day Light Saving Time. Harry wanted everyone to get back on the Lord’s Time.”

Read the full obituary here.

5. Lou Reed

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This isn’t so much an obituary as it is a letter to the people who knew Lou, but it’s beautiful and deserves a spot on this list. Lou’s wife wrote this obituary for Lou, and you can’t help but get teary-eyed when you make it to the concluding sentence that reads “Lou was a prince and a fighter and I know his songs of the pain and beauty in the world will fill many people with the incredible joy he felt for life. Long live the beauty that comes down and through and onto all of us.”

Read the full obituary here

6. William “Freddie” McCullough

Just like Harry Stamps, William “Freddie” McCullough seems like one heck of a man. His epically hilarious and witty obituary is one of our favorites because of it’s offbeat language and tone. It’s a great contrast to the cookie cutter obituaries you see in the newspaper everyday. Our favorite part? “Freddie was killed when he rushed into a burning orphanage to save a group of adorable children. Or maybe not. We all know how he liked to tell stories.”

Read the full obituary here.

7. Nevena Ann Topic

We’re not sure who wrote Ann’s obituary, but whoever did should be honored for their ability to write such a touching yet simple message honoring her life. The obituary takes a different approach to death, referring to it as a “call”, where the author writes “Ann would like to let you know that her work here is done. She received a call, a sort of an offer you can’t refuse, for an appointment from which she will not be returning. This assignment comes with a huge sign-on bonus, a reunion with family and friends she has not seen in a long time.”

Read the full obituary here.

8. Duck “Doug” Silverman

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It’s not everyday that you read an obituary about a pet. But the actress and comedian, Sarah Silverman, took a stab at writing her first her obituary for the love of her life… her dog named Duck. Oddly enough, this obituary was the one who brought tears to our eyes the fastest, especially when she says, “I held him close in our usual spoon position and stroked him. I told him how loved he was, and thanked him for giving me such happiness and for his unwavering companionship and love.” The way Sarah describes her love for Duck is the way you’d describe the kind of love you’ve had all of your life, and that’s why her touching tribute to Duck deserves a spot on this list.

Read the full obituary here

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9. Spencer Watson Seupel

If your son committed suicide, the hardest thing you could ever do is write his obituary. But Spencer’s mom, in the midst of her grief, wrote one of the most beautifully written obituaries we’ve ever read. This obituary isn’t even just an obituary; It’s a message that Spencer’s mom has for the world about suicide. Her message is this: “Now Spencer, finally, is at rest, and I hold him close within me. Please hold him close, as I do, in your mind and your spirit. Remember the meaning of this tragedy. If a young man or woman says maybe I’ll kill myself, tell someone. Don’t leave him alone. If a young man or woman drinks too much, say something. It’s not a game; it’s a symptom. And let us find and encourage within ourselves, within our society, those gifts that make each of us special: not star power, not intellectual prowess, but the ineffable mystery and extraordinary beauty of the simple human heart.”

Read the full obituary here

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What’s the best obituary you’ve ever read? Tell us in the comments below!

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