7 Most Outlandish Coffins for a Wild Ride to the Afterlife

January 12, 2010
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image I found this article online and thought it would be a good piece for the site.

Below are 7 caskets that this blogger things would make a wild ride to the afterlife. Enjoy!!

Nothing like the holiday season to get you thinking about planning for death. And, of course, thoughts of your imminent demise can only lead to the centerpiece of the whole affair: the casket.

Why get buried in the same cardboard box that every other sucker rides into the great beyond when you can invest a little time and money before you die tracking down the most kick-ass receptacle for your corpse money can buy? Turn your funeral up to 11 with one of these caskets to make sure there’s no yawning during your eulogy.

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Memories of the Hunt — Hardcore hunters are the sorts of people who have elk heads mounted on their wall, maybe even a stuffed bear in the den, and a vast collection of shotguns, knives and handy tools to hide your poop when you’re in a tree for six hours. But how do you send one of these people into the great hereafter? Why settle for a plain pine box when you can use this fine art casket that may or may not feature an image of the animal that finally took out your loved one?

Star Trek — A geek in life is a geek in death, and there’s no shame in that. In fact, it’s kind of awesome that while most people just get expensive wood that’s kind of like your grandma’s antique furniture, you can jet off in a photon torpedo just like Spock did at the end of “The Wrath of Khan.” Best part? It’s totally cool if, during the service, someone actually interrupts by staring at the heavens and yelling “KHAAAAAAANN!!!”

Precious Moments — For those intent on perhaps scaring away vampires and grave robbers, the Precious Moments casket is here to boggle minds with sticky, sweet sentiment in this life and the next.

Pabst — Some people are so loyal to a beer brand they’re willing to take it into the next life with them, and such is the case with Bill Bramanti, who apparently really loves Pabst. His custom-made casket, designed to look exactly like a can of his favorite beer, will serve as a cooler until he needs to go on ice himself. Here’s hoping someone out there is working on a Thunderbird casket.

Return to Sender — When you’re dead, you’re dead. You can’t have the last word, so you better plan ahead. If it were a wedding you could stand in front of the room and make a witty toast with a glass of wine, but since you’re not going to be doing much standing after rigor wears off, best to let your casket make all the jokes for you. And what better joke than likening this mortal coil to the postal service? Ha!

Three-Man Coffin — Housed at the National Museum of Funeral History, which must be an uplifting field trip destination for the kids, this three-person casket was apparently commissioned by a couple who had lost a child and, in their grief, decided they wanted to commit suicide to join her. They took the time to pay someone to design and build this before they did it, which we can only assume must have taken a good deal of time since it was clearly an unusual custom job. Makes you wonder if the craftsman asked why he was making it. In any event, the couple apparently didn’t go through with it and didn’t bother to pick up the casket, so it’s at the museum now. Or at least that’s the story we heard.

Michael Jackson’s ? The King of Pop had to go out in a dramatic fashion; one last flashy display before he left. And to that end he had a $25,000 casket cast in solid bronze. The inside was lined with blue velvet and the outside was plated in 14-karat gold, ensuring that thing’s going to stay solid for quite some time.

Source: Asylum.com

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